Saturday, April 12, 2014

Joy. Unspeakable.

- Start college at 17
- Finish college at 21 with a degree in education
- Work for 2 years
- Get married the December I turn 23
- Move to a farm in the Great Plains and be a full-time homemaker for my husband. Also help to take care of our chickens (because I love chickens), cows (because I’ve always wanted a cow or two), sheep (because sheep are cool), horses (because what is a farm without horses), and two or three dogs (and a cat).
- Raise 4 or five kids

That was my life plan, as of my 17th birthday. Needless to say, it hasn’t worked out that way. I started college at 22, working on generals since I’m not sure what I want to study. Unless God has a very, extraordinarily short courtship planned for me, there is no way I’m getting married this December. I still want to move to Iowa (just ask Daniel), but I’m torn between making my home in Iowa or a Hmong village in Laos. I still want to be a homemaking, homeschooling wife and mother, but that’s the only thing that I’m sure about from that list.

And, on Monday, April 21, I’m taking another step away from that plan. Monday, April 21, is my last day working away from home for the foreseeable future. I didn’t want to do this at first. I wanted to stay in school, maybe start a business, buy a car… So many things I wanted to do. Without consulting God, I wanted to keep working on my life plan. But I couldn’t finish school if I didn’t have a job (Daniel and I have paid for school once we graduated high schools). If I didn’t finish school, I couldn’t teach. And so the “ifs”, “can’ts” and “I wants” go on.

But I realized this week that it’s not about the “ifs”, “can’ts” and “I wants”. It’s about “what God wants”, and “possibilities” and “certainties”. And, after consulting with my parents and spending a great deal of time in prayer, I know God wants me to come home and really take homemaking seriously, even though I see no reason for it.

As I was typing this up, Mama read this quote: “ [God] does not give His children all the directions for their life journey at once, lest they should become confused. He tells them just as much as they can remember and perform.” (Desire of Ages, 313)

God doesn’t have to reveal everything about why He lead in this decision. In fact, He shouldn’t. This is a lesson in trusting that His way is perfect. And as I’ve come to rest in His plan, He has given me unspeakable joy, not in the action of coming home, but in the knowledge that this is His will. And that is what gives Him unspeakable joy.

(By the way, I'm not just quitting my job. I'm taking over all the housework, cooking, and mastering sewing, knitting, learning to crochet, and all those other housewifely things)

And here is a picture of a cow I took today. Just ‘cause I like cows.

1 comment:

  1. Aw this was such a blessing to read! So happy for you! This is so cool, because some months ago I pulled out a timeline my senior high school LA teacher had us make for the next ten years of our lives (this was a public school teacher, so letting God lead wasn't emphasized)...nevertheless, God knew my heart and I made some really "great" plans that included Him the whole way through....but what's amazing is that nothing has gone as planned on that timeline at all! and I love it :) except for HS graduation! lol...all that to say - I can totally relate! God has called me to stay home and to learn the same skills to be a virtuous woman..faithful in the work that lies nearest and learning to run a business and ministry :) May this quote encourage and inspire you as it has me in waiting on God to reveal to me my lifework more and more :-) "We need to follow more closely God's plan of life. To do our best in the work that lies nearest, to commit our ways to God, and to watch for the indications of His providence--these are rules that ensure safe guidance in the choice of an occupation." {Education, page 267 [The Lifework]}